She Lived With a Warm Heart, and a Strong Fist

Jan 17 - 23, 2011


Monday morning I woke up early and went with my mom to the funeral home to see Nan one last time. The funeral home was kind enough to hold her body over until I made it home to see her, before she was sent out to be cremated as she wanted. It was nice to have a chance to see her, and even in death she lost none of the character we all loved her for: kind and loving yet stern. Aunt Deb summed it up well when she did pass by telling the pastor that she was a woman who "lived with a warm heart, and a strong fist".
After the quick visitation, mom and I went to the bakery and picked up a cookie and dessert bar latter to take to the nurses in the ward where Nan spent her final days. My family was overwhelmed with how great and supportive the entire staff had been throughout the whole process. After the hospital it was back to the house, where I spent the rest of the day sleeping, still feeling the effects of the jet lag. I slept until dinner, and then after eating sat around with mom and Ed until they went to bed and I headed to my room to watch some more T.V. before calling it a night as well.
Tuesday was a new day, and when I got up at 930 the house was empty. My mom and Ed had gone out to do some running around. I had a bite to eat and called Ash to set up a time to go out to visit our other grandparents. She eventually came by to pick me up in the early afternoon, and we went out to have a visit. it was nice to have a few hours to sit around and talk with them and one of their friends, and around 5 my dad stopped by after work, as he usually does. Ash and I were on our way out, but took a few minutes to let him know about the service arrangements for the end of the week. Dad said he was thinking of taking the next day off work as long as the weather was good, and asked if I would want to go ice fishing. being a guy who enjoys the cold, and not having been ice fishing since last year, I agree and told him to give me a call when he knew for sure. Ash took and dropped me off at home, and after a bit of supper I once again spent most of the night napping. It seems as though, with the time change, the late afternoon and early evening is when it catches up with you the most.
I woke up Wednesday just after 9 and got my things together for when dad called to go fishing. It wasn't until almost 11 when he called from my uncle Ken's house and said they would come to get me as soon as my cousin got back from her doctors appointment and my uncle could stop babysitting. They finally came to pick me up around lunch time, and we drove down to St. Williams, where we always do our fishing. As we were getting our warm clothes on, we were visited by one of the Ministry of Natural Resources staff, who wanted to know how we had been doing, but since we hadn't been out yet she let us be. That was a good thing, because both my father and I didn't have our licenses with us, which can result in a hefty fine. We hit the ice, but it wasn't until the sun started going down that any of us had any luck. Dad was the only lucky one, having walked a few dozen yards from where we were, he took advantage of some holes left by others and pulled out several good sized perch. After the sun was set, we headed off the ice in the dark, and were on our way home by 6pm. Ice fishing is always a good way to get out and enjoy some peace and quiet. It gives one time to think and reflect on anything they wish, add that to the conversations you can have with your company and it makes for a great time.
Once back in town they dropped me off at home so that I could get cleaned up before going over to Ash's house for dinner with her and her boyfriend Lance. She came to pick me up at 8, and we went to her house and had shepherds pie and garlic bread, which was absolutely delicious. After we finished dinner, we sat around talking until Gavin showed up, having just gotten home from a 3 day work trip up north to do some work on a friend of his family's cottage. From Ash's, we went out to a bar to have a few drinks. We had some laughs and a couple drinks, then Gavin drove me home around 1am. I had forgone the jet lag nap, so was very tired when I got home, and went right to bed.

Friday I got up again about mid morning and hung out with mom and Ed for a bit. Then in the afternoon I went back out to my other grandparents house, this time armed with my laptop so I could dhow them some of the pictures of my adventures from the past couple years. Technology is not something they care much about, in fact they still have an old school rotary phone, and they were thrilled that I was able to bring and show them my photos so easily. We spent a couple hours on the couch going through numerous albums, and the stories that go with them. Looking back on it as I write this, and with the passing of my Nan, I realize how important those moments are and am going to make a better effort in the future to spend time doing such things. I was however on a time line, because Russ and Michele and the kids were coming down around dinner time. They had not told the kids that I would be home, because then it would have been a week long "When are we going to see Uncle Mark?" bonanza. In the end my mom had to call me and ask how much longer I would because they had arrived, but I was already putting on my coat so i would be just behind them. I said my good-byes and headed home, and as soon as I walked in I was swarmed by the two of them, Braunwyn and Parker. It was great to see them, and I was amazed at how much change can happen in 9 months. We played for a bit until dinner was ready, then played some more after dinner until it was time for the rug-rats to go to bed. Once they were in bed, Russ and Michele, and I headed over to Gavin's to have a visit with Mike and Jill, and their new puppy Noodles. We got there just after 10, and sat around talking and playing with the dog until Ash and Lance showed up, and then we headed out for some drinks at The Moose. We stayed until last call, which was something I hadn't heard in some time living in Korea and all. The three of us headed back to moms place, and I gave up my room to Russ and Michele, and went and crashed on the floor in Parker's room.

We all got up early Saturday morning, partly because of the kids, and partly to get ready for Nan's service. After sleeping on the floor over night I felt like a million bucks. The mattress on my bed is a little too soft, so after a few days my back was getting sore, and the night on the floor put it all back in order. After some breakfast, Ash came over to hang out with the kids while the rest of us got ready. My mom had to iron the good clothes I had taken home, because I just shoved everything in when I was packing. As we were getting ready, Parker took the chance while his shirt was off to invite me to the gun show, thus prompting and gun show photo, which was hilarious. He is so funny, and quick witted. I try to deny it when the family says it, but he is very much like his Uncle Mark. We all headed over to the funeral home at 1230, and visitations started at 1. It was nice to see the whole family, and talk with them for a bit before it got too hectic. The rest of the afternoon I kept people entertained, telling stories and showing them a funny story one of my students had written. Over time a great number of people came that I hadn't seen in many years. Names were retold, relations brought up, and stories shared. At the end of the day, when it was just family left, my aunt Deb pulled me aside and gave me, my grandfather, Gump's Korean War ring. Nan had been holding onto it, and decided that she would like me to have it since I have spent the last few years of my life living there.  We cleaned up after everything was taken care of, and headed home at 530. We were all so tired that we just laid around until the early evening. Around 9 Adam Welsh called me, he had stopped by the funeral home because him and Lisa were in town for dinner at her parents, and invited me over to Lisa's for some drinks. I got ready and drove over and stayed for a couple hours just talking with the two of them, her sister Deanna and her boyfriend. Lisa's grandfather had recently passed away as well, so we talked about that, and just enjoyed catching up. Knowing that I had to get up early Sunday for the flight back to Korea, I left Lisa's house just after midnight so that I could get home and pack. On my way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some spices that are hard to find in Korea, as well as a few toiletries that I was getting low on. After that I went home and packed until 330.
I only slept for an hour before the alarm went off, for me to get up and get ready for dad to come and take me to the airport. I got up and took my bag and laptop to the door, then woke up mom and Ed so I could say good-bye. My dad showed up just after 5 and then together we went to pick up my Uncle Ken, who was going for the ride to keep my dad company on the ride back. We were at the airport by 7, which left me lots of time to check in before my 830 flight. So while I waited I picked up some forms from the Air Canada desk so that I could file them in hopes of getting a partial refund on my flight cost under the bereavement policy. After I checked in I went through security, and as per usual was looked at with suspicion, and inevitably had my laptop bag searched. To the credit of the airport security crew, it was because I had my dread hook in the bag and on the x-ray screen it does look like an ice pick; but when I am asking what the problem is and offering to help they should pay attention and make the process go much faster. After a few minute hang up, I was through and on my way to the plane, which was loading. I wasn't looking forward to the long flight again, but having not slept very much the night before I knew that I could pass out for a good portion of the flight. The first half of the trip to Vancouver went quick, and when we landed in Vancouver, I had only to get off the plane and wait while they refuelled before getting back on and taking off for the 13 hour flight back to Korea. 

For the end of this post I would like to thank all those, both friends and family, who gave their condolences and support to my family during our loss. We appreciate all the calls, visitors, open hearts, and open ears that were there for us. Nan you will be forever missed, and always loved.